Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I've Learned That

I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.  People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

God Bless America!

America the beautiful, or so you used to be.
Land of the Pilgrims' pride; I'm glad they'll never see.

Babies piled in dumpsters, Abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty; your house is on the sand.

Our children wander aimlessly poisoned by cocaine
Choosing to indulge their lusts, when God has said abstain.

From sea to shining sea, our Nation turns away
From the teaching of God's love and a need to always pray.

We've kept God in our temples, how callous we have grown.
When earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.

We've voted in a government that's rotting at the core,
Appointing Godless Judges; who throw reason out the door.

Too soft to place a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill a baby before he leaves the womb.

You think that God's not angry,that our land's a moral slum?
How much longer will He wait before His judgment comes?

How are we to face our God, from Whom we cannot hide?
What then is left for us to do, but stem this evil tide?

If we who are His children, will humbly turn and pray;
Seek His holy face and mend our evil way:

Then God will hear from Heaven; and forgive us of our sins,
He'll heal our sickly land and those who live within.

But, America the Beautiful, If you don't - then you will see,
 A sad but Holy God withdraw His hand from Thee.

~~Judge Roy Moore~~

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools Day

"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."  - Mark Twain

"The first of April, some do say,April 1st is dedicated to mischief and merriment for pranksters of all ages. You know what I'm talking about: whoopee cushion, rubber chicken, pie in the face... It's truly the only day of the year that foolishness is encouraged.

Is set apart for All Fools' Day.
But why the people call it so,
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment."
- Poor Robin's Almanac, 1790

In honor of April Fools Day, try one or more of the following:

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone's over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all Your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a Poetry Recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Have your colleagues address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!'

18. Tell your children over supper: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

"April hath put a spirit of youth in everything." - William Shakespeare

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring is Here!

"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise my love, my fair one, and come away." - Song of Solomon 2:11-13

"All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar." - Helen Hayes

Welcome Spring!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Presidents Day

Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.

Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Winter Classes for Men




Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Top 10 Predictions for 2010

1. The Bible will still have all the answers we need.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still enjoy the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing to the glory of God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.and God approves this message!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

A New Year's Prayer

Another year is dawning
With the chance to start anew.
May I be kinder, wiser, Lord,
In all I say and do.
Not so caught up in selfish gain
That I would fail to see
The things in life that mean the most
Cost not a fancy fee.
The warm, kind word that I can give,
The outstretched hand to help,
The prayers I pray for those in need--
More precious these than wealth.
I know not what may lie ahead
Of laughter or of tears;
I only need to know each day
That You are walking near.
I'm thankful for this brand new year
As now I humbly pray,
My hand secure in Yours, dear Lord,
Each step along the way.
Kay Hoffman

2009 Goals:

Health: lower cholesteral and blood pressure #s.

Spiritual: devotions everyday! I'm always blessed when I do.

Celebrate: being in my 40s while I still can!

Vacation: to someplace warm and sunny. 

Finances:  reduce personal debt, pay off bills. 

"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole
more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first day of January
let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past."  - Henry Ward Beecher