Southern Rules

“Sir” and “Ma’am” are not just for occasional usage.

Men hold doors for women/ seniors.

If someone else needs a seat, you give them your seat, and you don’t complain.

“Being a good Samaritan” is not just a saying, its an understood way of life.

"Darling”, “Sweetheart”, “Honey”, and “Dear” are used, for the most part, as endearing expressions.

You can dislike someone as much as you want, but when you see them you act cordially.

When you bump into someone you say “pardon” or “excuse me.”

Waving at people you don’t know or asking how they’re doing is not to be looked down upon.

You can take time to slow down. Slower paced lives are happier lives.

Say “God bless you” when someone sneezes.

When in doubt, be as polite as possible. Only confront others when confronted.

People hug one another, its OK.

If you disagree with something, be polite. “Oh….I see,” or “Oh…thats nice, Darlin” will suffice.

Saying grace at the table, even to yourself, should not be looked upon with disdain.

The only place where cars still stop (even on the highway) for funerals.

ALL people have the ability to behave like Southerners, though not necessarily recreate the accent.

Southern Women

Appreciate their natural assets:

Peachy skin (thanks to humidity); Born knowing how to flirt; Southern drawl

Know their manners:

"Yes, ma'am"; "Yes, sir"; "Why, don’t you dare darlin`!"Have priceless expressions:"Y'all come back!"; "Well, bless your heart.";"Drop by when you can.";"That’s so nice."

Know everybody's first name:

Honey; Darlin'; Shugah; You Handsome Devil

Know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes; Driving Miss Daisy; Steel Magnolias; Gone With The Wind

Know their religions:

Baptist; Methodist; Football

Know their country breakfasts:

Grits; Country ham and red-eye gravy; Mouth-watering homemade biscuits & jam

Know their cities:

Chawl'stn; S'vanah; Foat Wuth; N'awlins; Addlanna

Know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform; Men in tuxedos; Rhett Butler

Know their prime real estate:

The Mall; The Country Club;The Beauty Salon

Know the three deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails; Having bad manners; Cooking bad food

Why You Should Love the South

If you want a glimpse of Southern life,
Come close and walk with me;
I'll tell you all the simple things,
That you are sure to see.

You'll see mockingbirds and bumblebees,
Magnolia blossoms and Dogwood trees,
Caterpillars on the step,
Wooden porches cleanly swept;

Watermelons on the vine,
Strong majestic Georgia pines;
Rocking chairs and front yard swings,
June bugs flying on a string;

Turnip greens and hot cornbread,
Coleslaw and barbecue;
Fried okra, fried corn, fried green tomatoes,
Fried pies and pickles too.

There's ice cold tea that's syrupy sweet;
And cool, green grass beneath your feet;
Catfish nipping in the lake,
And fresh young boys on the make.

You'll see all these things
And much, much more,
In a way of life that I adore.

Decoration Day

Growing up, our family and distant connections attended "Decoration Day." Here in the NW people have no idea what I'm talking about. Every 3rd Sunday in May, we'd picnic at the cemetery on my mother's side of the family. And, every 1st Sunday of June we'd do the same on my father's side. Both places were in the "backwoods" meaning there wasn't much of anythinhg nearby. It took an hour or so riding in the car to reach the destination. Sounds funny to most, but Decoration Day was normal to me.

Decoration Day was intended to remember, honor, and show respect toward "loved ones" who had made it to the "other side." In the rural South, many churches have their own cemeteries near the chapel. If your family member was connected to the church in some way, you could be buried in a plot for free.

Along the way, my mother and father would always point out where they were born (neither was born in a hospital). I would try to imagine their lives back then. Both places were near abandoned "mining" towns. They would exchange stories of people I never knew.

I looked forward to "good" eating, playing with cousins, and running and chasing all over the graveyard. Graves were covered with flower sprays and baskets. The grounds were colorful. The Baptist and Methodist churches would have afternoon "singings." You could hear the music through the open windows. The grownups would bring lawn chairs, folding tables, playpens, fly swatters, and delicious dishes. People dressed up in their finest and photos were snapped. Women wore corsages. If the flower(s) was white, it meant to all that her mother had passed away. If she wore a red corsage, her mother was still living. Parents would talk to 1st, 2nd 3rd cousins, and great aunts and uncles as they read all the tombstones pointing out all the connections. Of course as kids we didn't pay close attention. We were there to have fun. A few years back, I did some family history research and visited both sites, except this time it wasn't Decoration Day. I took pictures to document names and dates.

By the way, my mother was famous for her "strawberry cake," it was expected by everyone. If she didn't make it, it was a great disappointment. Some years she'd also make her "coconut" cake. My dad's sister made "out of this world" fried peach pies. My mother's sister could be counted on to bring ambrosia salad. My grandmother would bring a baked ham.

It was a great tradition, that unfortunately, my kids know nothing about. Makes me sad, really.