I've Learned That

I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.  People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

God Bless America!

America the beautiful, or so you used to be.
Land of the Pilgrims' pride; I'm glad they'll never see.

Babies piled in dumpsters, Abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty; your house is on the sand.

Our children wander aimlessly poisoned by cocaine
Choosing to indulge their lusts, when God has said abstain.

From sea to shining sea, our Nation turns away
From the teaching of God's love and a need to always pray.

We've kept God in our temples, how callous we have grown.
When earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.

We've voted in a government that's rotting at the core,
Appointing Godless Judges; who throw reason out the door.

Too soft to place a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill a baby before he leaves the womb.

You think that God's not angry,that our land's a moral slum?
How much longer will He wait before His judgment comes?

How are we to face our God, from Whom we cannot hide?
What then is left for us to do, but stem this evil tide?

If we who are His children, will humbly turn and pray;
Seek His holy face and mend our evil way:

Then God will hear from Heaven; and forgive us of our sins,
He'll heal our sickly land and those who live within.

But, America the Beautiful, If you don't - then you will see,
 A sad but Holy God withdraw His hand from Thee.

~~Judge Roy Moore~~

April Fools Day

"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."  - Mark Twain

"The first of April, some do say,April 1st is dedicated to mischief and merriment for pranksters of all ages. You know what I'm talking about: whoopee cushion, rubber chicken, pie in the face... It's truly the only day of the year that foolishness is encouraged.

Is set apart for All Fools' Day.
But why the people call it so,
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment."
- Poor Robin's Almanac, 1790

In honor of April Fools Day, try one or more of the following:

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone's over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all Your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a Poetry Recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Have your colleagues address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!'

18. Tell your children over supper: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

"April hath put a spirit of youth in everything." - William Shakespeare

Spring is Here!

"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise my love, my fair one, and come away." - Song of Solomon 2:11-13

"All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar." - Helen Hayes

Welcome Spring!

Presidents Day

Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,

Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.

Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation

In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.

Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!

Winter Classes for Men

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Monday, Jan 3, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .

Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Top 10 Predictions for 2010

1. The Bible will still have all the answers we need.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still enjoy the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing to the glory of God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10. Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.and God approves this message!

Happy New Year!

A New Year's Prayer

Another year is dawning
With the chance to start anew.
May I be kinder, wiser, Lord,
In all I say and do.
Not so caught up in selfish gain
That I would fail to see
The things in life that mean the most
Cost not a fancy fee.
The warm, kind word that I can give,
The outstretched hand to help,
The prayers I pray for those in need--
More precious these than wealth.
I know not what may lie ahead
Of laughter or of tears;
I only need to know each day
That You are walking near.
I'm thankful for this brand new year
As now I humbly pray,
My hand secure in Yours, dear Lord,
Each step along the way.
**
Kay Hoffman

2009 Goals:

Health: lower cholesteral and blood pressure #s.

Spiritual: devotions everyday! I'm always blessed when I do.

Celebrate: being in my 40s while I still can!

Vacation: to someplace warm and sunny. 

Finances:  reduce personal debt, pay off bills. 

"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole
more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first day of January
let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past."  - Henry Ward Beecher

Goodbye 2009

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne."
- Robert Burns

2009 Events:

Feb:  Purchased 2004 Crossfire w/17,700 miles.
Mar:  Nina got new desk-top computer.
June:  Keziah got a trip to Disneyland w/her Dad. 
         Sabrina got a new job as a receptionist.
         Back deck is finally done!  
          My father passed away on the 24th.
July:  Dale got a small raise in spite of the recession. 
         Grandbaby was born on the 12th - Luke.
Aug:  Took a week trip to Las Vegas.
Sept:  My brother passed away on the 19th. 
Oct:  Dale got a new laptop computer.
Nov:  Jordache got a new job as a marketer.
         Sabrina hit her weight loss goal - 30 lbs.
Dec:  Vacationed in Ocean Shores for a week. 

What a year.  Looking toward 2010 with anticipation!

Christmas Day

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man

the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!"

- Charles Dickens

The Night Before Christmas

To the rest of the world, today is Christmas Eve.  But to my husband & I, it's our 31st wedding anniversary!  Yes, I can hardly believe it.  My, how time passes!  It's been great to live my life with my most favorite person in the world and my best friend.  Few people get that chance.  I've been one of the fortunate ones.  Looking forward to another 31 years or more together!

It's My Birthday!

Ten Ways to Know if You Are a SWAG

(Southern Woman Aging Gracefully)

1. You feel the urge to bake a pound cake after reading the obituaries.

2. You have had professional photographs made of your children barefoot and dressed in their Sunday clothes.

3. You believe that cocktail dresses do not double as church clothes.

4. You’d rather have a fight with your husband than with your best friend.

5. You have stolen magnolia leaves, or you know someone who has.

6. You have monogrammed the middle of your shower curtain.

7. You could live without Yankees who equate your accent with a low IQ.

8. You know better than to eat the potato salad at a family reunion.

9. You are socially conditioned to believe that tanned fat looks better than white fat.

10. Your children hide their Easter baskets and Valentine’s Day candy from you just in case you have a dieting lapse.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat has gotten to be really good friends.

If You Look for Me at Christmas

If you look for Me at Christmas... you won't need a special star,

I'm no longer still in Bethlehem, I'm right there where you are.

You may not be aware of Me amid the celebrations,

You'll have to look beyond the stores and all the decorations.

But if you take a moment from your list of things to do,

And listen to your heart, you'll find I'm waiting there for you.

You're the one I want to be with, you're the reason that I came,

And you'll find me in the stillness as I'm whispering your name.

Love, Jesus

--Author unknown

First Corinthians 13 Christmas

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,

but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family. I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity,

but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata, but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, through harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost,

golf clubs will rust...but giving the gift of love will endure.

~Author Unknown~

Twas the Night Before Jesus Came

Twas the night before Jesus came & all thru the house  Not a creature was praying not one in the house.  Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And mom in her rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY!

The light of His face made me cover my head.
It was Jesus! Returning just like He had said.
And through I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand,
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It’s not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He arose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear.
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There’s only one life and when comes the last call
We’ll find that the Bible was true after all!

---Author Unknown